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| High School. I hated it, and never really realized it until now, how much i loved it. It was a school that me and my friends loved to hate. With the stereotypical cheerleaders, jocks, nerds, punks (to the mildest degree), and Kentucky's own group, hicks. It's what bonded me and my friends, isolating ourselves from the "popular" group, self-proclaiming ourselves as "losers" and "rejects," when in fact, we were on pretty good terms with most people in our class. I doubt anyone put us in a category or gave us a second thought. My high school had this tradition of writing "senior thoughts" for every senior at the end of the year. This included last will and testament and predictions for our friends in the future. I ran into this "booklet" of thoughts while cleaning out my room. Needless to say, it wasnt that big, considering our class was only 170 or so. and all i can say is, I miss those times like crazy. I am fortunate enough to still keep in touch with a few of my closest friends in Kentucky. Almost all my friends predicted that I would be in Texas and successful. So far they got one part right, only one got it completely right. She said i would be in Texas with a degree and not knowing what to do with it. dang girl, how did she get it right on the mark. thats slightly depressing, but oh well. A lot of people confessed their love to their signifcant others, planning to marry them. I wonder how many of them are still with that person. I know some who broke up and are now married with kids. I wonder what my old high school crushes are doing, and laugh at how me and my friends constantly drooled over them. I wonder what happened to all my aspirations and ambitions. Kentucky seems like a whole different life that I can't imagine I lived, yet am grateful that i did. and now, i feel like an old maid =( | | |
| my sister had her baby last sunday! hooray! her name is olivia and she is soooo cuuuutttteeee. especially when you try to burp her...cuz that was basically the only time i saw her not all bundled up. she is so tinnnyyyy. i got to hold her when she was first born! and feeeed herrrr. she is so tiny in my lap. anyways, here is a probably old school hymn song that i never heard of until the oh so cool Supertones put it on their praise/worship cd that reminded me of this celebration:
What am I to do now
And what have you shown
I'll never make it
On my own
I look up and I see blue sky
And a shining sun
I'm simply reminded
How you love
Chorus 1:
I'll remember your faithfulness
Through all my days
Your light, love, and hope always
Verse 2:
You're the great maker
Of heaven and earth
The souls of men
Are your greatest work
When I see your image
In every face
I'm called to remember
Your good, good grace
[Chorus 1]
Chorus 2:
I'll remember you're patient
I'll remember you're true
I'll remember all the times that you came through
Bridge:
You made this blind man see
Thank you for saving me
Jesus, you made me new
I live my life you
[Chorus 1] x2
Your light, love, and hope always
Your light, love, and hope always
i heart the supertones, and olivia!
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| so, theres little that i like about working at the co op. buuutt since christmas is around the corner, us workers get 37% off  ....and since it was so freeeezzziiiinggg today and i couldnt find my jacket this morning, i had to get a hoodie, which came out to $12 something . double cool.
also,
my sister is suppose to deliver her baby this weekend!!!! WHAT THE CRAZY!!!!!???
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| since my last entry, Goodness passed away *cry* but ive come to terms with it. thus, the porfile picture change. well not really i just always thought that pic of rk was funny. especially since they made matt t so taaallll. besides i still have a humongous blown up picture of goodness on my desktop (maybe i havent come to terms with it...heh)
so ive been looking through xangas and band sites the past couple of days and it made me reminisce of the good ol' days. sigh. I MISS MY BANDS!! wah. i miss reading their tour journals. now that fif and the supertones are broken up, and switchfoot is now popular (meaning no more personal journals) there leaves rk...which is pretty excellent i might add. haha that matt t., he slays me...thank goodness for myspace.com tho, a bunch of bands write on there.
anywho...ok i might sound snobby and exclusive now, but..oh well. i miss the old el paso gang. granted, i feel very blessed to have made the friends i have, but i miss the closeness of the ep gang. its always fun hanging out with them and i know i can count on them...back in simpler times when there was no drama rama. and even tho i dont talk to them all that much anymore cuz they are all gone and away, i know i can count on them when it matters. esp Michelle and Linton, thanks for always caring, listening and supporting me. i know i havent always been supportive of your decisions michelle, but you've been so great with me in giving me advice and being optimistic. and when i needed you, you were there to listen even tho you were going through a lot urself. i miss having long conversatoins with you. and linton i cant even put into words how great a friend youve been to me. you always let me know you care, in one way or another, despite all ur punches and ur determination to let me know otherwise, and being with you reminds me of how it use to be, you always bring a smile to my face. thanks for your honesty and friendship. you guys are the BEST and i miss you.
and back and around....i miss my pets!!!  sad. theyre all gone, no more, not even Belle (my cat). and even tho i want about million pets when i get older, there will never be any like them.
sigh, some of the best moments of my life and i didnt even realize it.
im tired of being stuck at where im at, but im scared of change....what a predicament.
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| IM SAD! really really sad =( (hence my blue font hah) even sadder than when five iron frenzy and the supertones broke up COMBINED. My dog, goodness (pictured left) has diabetes  , he's everything to me! and i know he's getting old and time is taking its toll, but he's one of the purest creations of love that i know of. It always makes me happy to see him, especially when Im sad, because he reminds me that there is love and beauty in this world...and he's right in front of me. When i look at him, when i hold him, i can imagine how God must feel about me, how God must love (only His is about a billion times stronger) and its AMAZING. It's like, I cant even imagine how much I love him...and I want to love him evem more but theres no way i can. i cant even fathom or put into words the love i have for him. and whenever i look at it him, i want to cry, because i cant believe how lucky i am to have him in my life. haha ok ok, sorry this is so sappy, its even making me sick..blah. but i'll continue anyways...
My dog Little Anne died the summer I was coming to college, and it tore me apart. She had a stroke earlier when i was still at home (she was.....17?). Goodness's son, Mercy, died from another dog when we moved to ky, and now we have Goodness and my cat Belle. Now, i may sound obsessed or overly dramatic....but at those times I wouldve given anything for them to live, even my place, only because I felt like they were a million times more worth having here on Earth....not that I think im worthless...but because I think that they were perfect. and i suppose i dont feel that way this time, only because i know what it would do to my family. haha i sound morbid. but ANYWAYS i know Goodness cant live forever (he's 14) but I wish he could at least live with me until i got old. my pets are my babies, and i dunno what to do when i lose him....im still sad about Little Anne and i still miss her...sometimes i even pray to dream about her just to be with her again...CRAZY. im thinkin about visiting ky again to see goodness...isnt that crazy talk? but i'll probably regret it if i never get to see him again. ok enuf of this mushy stuff =(, but im still sad =(
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